It Took Me a While to Open Up About Needing a Kidney: Davine S’s Kidney Transplant Story

My journey began with my acute kidney failure diagnosis in 2023, which was brought about due to my battle with lupus nephritis.  

In the back of my mind, there was always a possibility that my kidneys would be negatively impacted. I just never imagined having to confront the devastating reality that I would need a kidney transplant.

I held so tightly to the hope that my kidneys would magically wake up and come back to life, bruised but not defeated. Unfortunately, after about five months of dialysis, it was apparent that was not going to happen. 

In early 2024, I received the official word that I was in chronic kidney failure and would need a kidney transplant. It was the news I had been expecting yet dreading at the same time. I had moments of tears, rage, confusion, and panic.  

Eventually, the moments of acceptance, forgiveness (especially toward myself), and determination to, as with my lupus, not let this diagnosis define me, started to rise to the surface, above the waves of despair. I started to figure out what I needed to do to prepare for the unknown and understand my options. 

First was choosing a transplant institute. I decided to go with one that was close by, was a medical system I was familiar with, and included most of my current specialists.  

I met with their team to learn more about how kidney matching and transplantation work. Based on that initial and informative meeting, I decided that pursuing a living kidney donor would be the best option for me. Multiple studies have shown that kidneys from living donors have a longer lifespan, and since I am only in my 30s, I want to be able to live as long a life as I can.  

It was also at this meeting that I learned about the National Kidney Registry. Once I was signed up with the National Kidney Registry, I was paired up with Yardley Hernandez as my donor search coach, and took some of the online classes to better understand the whole kidney search process.  

The next step was finding someone willing to donate. I very rarely open up to people about my health issues. Most of my close friends and family already knew that I had lupus, and when I started dialysis, I told most people that it was going to be temporary because in my mind, it was. I had to figure out how to go from telling people that my “treatments” (the phrase that I gave to my dialysis visits) were going to be temporary to saying it will be a permanent thing unless I get a kidney. 

Yardley was extremely helpful and assisted me in setting up my microsite, where people could sign up to be tested, and sent me a box of business cards with QR codes linking back to my microsite to pass out.  

It took some time for me to start sharing about my chronic kidney diagnosis and my need for a new kidney. I first opened up to my immediate friends and family, who were amazingly supportive and started reaching out to share the link and business cards with their networks, family chats, and social groups.  

As the weeks went by, I started to realize that finding a potential donor wasn’t just going to just happen—I needed to widen my net and make a more earnest effort to find a living donor.

I decided to post a message on Facebook explaining my condition and asking people to get tested to see if they were a match. As my birthday was a few days before, I considered finding a match my birthday wish.  

What was amazing with Facebook was that I had a lot of contacts—some that live near me who I see regularly, some I hadn’t seen in more than a decade—and many of them reposted my post and said such lovely, thoughtful things about me. It was really encouraging to see all of those really positive comments and to hear how my life had such an impact on theirs. I had to be hopeful that something was going to come out of this moment of vulnerability.

Weeks after my post, I got a call from a Jacksonville area code. My husband is from there, so I figured it was someone trying to reach him. I answered the call and it turned out to be my husband’s cousin. She was calling to let me know that she had been tested as a potential match, and that the results came back saying that she indeed was a match … and that she wanted to donate her kidney to me.  

I was so shocked. I didn’t even know what to say to her. It was like the dam that I built internally to shield myself from the expected disappointments as I embarked on this donor journey broke with just those few words, and with it the flood of varying emotions—shock, amazement, fear, excitement, and gratitude—came rushing through my mind and body.  

It turned out that she had been secretly getting tested but wanted to wait until she got the results to let us know. I called my husband, who was at work at the time, and he dropped everything and came straight home, surprised that someone in his family was a near-perfect match for me!  

I called my mom next, and she was also amazed and grateful. It looked like my birthday wish was going to come true! It just confirms the fact that even though there is so much craziness in the world, there are still good people out there.  

My donor said she felt a calling to do this—I had a need and she was willing to step up to the plate. My gratitude to her, her husband and children who supported her every step of the way is immeasurable. 

Looking back, tiredness and lack of energy had become normal for me. Before my transplant, it had been so long since I felt awake and alive. After the transplant, it was like someone turned on a switch inside of me! Having this level of energy back is amazing!  

I feel like I have more options for my life, more opportunities to truly be present and engage in things that before would just not be possible. I can keep up with chores around the house, cook more, and truly live life to its fullest!

I’m just so much more involved in life than I was prior to my transplant. It is a great feeling to be able to look forward to what the future has to offer, like traveling with my husband and getting to finally take the honeymoon we have wanted to take since 2020. I am so grateful for this second chance at life.

About the Author

Davine S. is an almost-40-year-old Contracts and Grants Officer who loves her family, her cats, and all forms of historical fiction. Having received her “Peanut” in 2025, thanks to a wonderful and generous family member, Davine has been living her life to the fullest and not taking a single moment for granted. From shopping trips with her mother, to having adventures in South Florida with her friends, to spending quiet moments at home with her husband, she is deeply grateful for this second chance at life and encourages those who are awaiting theirs to not give up hope.